1. Living in a Constant Mental Loop
I used to feel like my mind was on nonstop rewind—replaying conversations I had earlier, predicting every “what if,” and spiraling into worst-case scenarios. Social gatherings turned into mental marathons replaying every phrase I uttered. Quiet moments at home felt invasive, filled with thoughts like, What did I forget? Why didn’t they text back? It got to the point where real rest felt unreachable.
Waking up each day felt like entering a battlefield with my own thoughts. Even when I tried meditation or breathing exercises, the internal chatter refused to be silenced. My to-do list ran the show, and I was exhausted. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and I found something that actually helped break this cycle.
2. The Turning Point – A Different Kind of Journey
After trying therapy, journaling, meditation apps and lifestyle shifts—nothing really broke the cycle. That’s when I came across something very different: a retreat deep in nature, centered around an ancient plant medicine ceremony. I was skeptical, but open-minded. What happened there didn’t just quiet my mind—it helped me connect with something much deeper inside myself.
The retreat wasn’t about escape—it was a direct confrontation with my inner world, under the guidance of experienced facilitators. At night, surrounded by quiet jungle, I drank a traditional brew known for inducing introspection. In the first few hours, I felt my anxiety physically purge, both emotionally and mentally. I confronted memories I had compartmentalised, faced fears of mine that I hadn’t known were there—and then found clarity I didn’t think was possible.
Research shows such retreats can lead to dramatic shifts in anxiety, depression and rumination. For example, ayahuasca—a brew made from Banisteriopsis caapi and Psychotria viridis—has been shown to reduce overthinking and negative mental patterns. A 2021 study found that even a single experience significantly lowered social anxiety, while broader surveys report many participants see long-term relief from stress and depression.
It wasn’t easy or comfortable, but it was real healing.
3. What I Let Go Of
Most of us believe our thoughts define us. I thought I was anxious. But during the ayahuasca retreat, something shifted: I realized my thoughts were just passing clouds. That realization felt like freedom.
I released old beliefs—I’m not smart enough, I don’t deserve love, I’m always behind. Each came up in vivid, emotional waves, and each washed away. I remember lying there after one session, feeling lighter—like a weight had been lifted from my chest.
Science suggests this might be legitimate. Ayahuasca has been linked to increased “mindfulness capacity” and reduced rumination—traits key to calming an overactive mind . Many who undergo such ceremonies report profound emotional release, even breakthroughs resembling years of therapy .
I didn’t just stop overthinking that night—I learned I could befriend my mind, rather than fight it.
4. Life After – A New Relationship with My Mind
Returning to daily life, the change didn’t disappear at the retreat exit. I found I could pause before reacting. Morning rumination—that voice that kicks in with the alarm—became a fleeting visitor instead of the tour guide of my day.
My journaling shifted focus away from problem-chasing and toward gentle observation: What am I feeling right now? I stopped catastrophizing over forgotten emails or delayed texts. When I felt tension creep in, I could consciously remind myself, I’ve done the deep work—I don’t have to live here anymore.
Friends and family noticed too. I was calmer in conversations. Present in ways I hadn’t been. I even learned to say “no” without spiraling into guilt—because I was more attuned to my own emotional needs.
5. Ongoing Practices That Sustain Calm
The retreat was a catalyst—but integration keeps the transformation alive. Here’s what has been most helpful long-term:
- Mindful pauses: Wherever I am, I take a 30‑second break to check in—What am I feeling? Where is tension?
- Gratitude journaling: Each night I jot down 3 small wins—calm morning, a moment of presence, a laugh with a friend.
- Periodic retreats or breathwork practices: Even a half-day of silence helps ground me back in clarity.
- Community support: Sharing insights with others who’ve walked similar paths reminds me I’m part of something meaningful.
Retreat studies highlight that preparation and integration are critical; without them, people risk missing the full benefit—or worse, misinterpreting intense experiences .
6. Final Thoughts – For Anyone Who’s Tired of the Noise
If this arms race inside your head feels familiar, know this: the noise isn’t who you are. It’s a pattern that can be softened—and sometimes shattered—with the right combination of intention, guidance, and courageous inner work.
The path I took—a guided plant-medicine ceremony—might feel unusual. But it was a path that met me where I needed help: beyond strategies, into self-awareness and deep healing. Whether through a retreat, therapy, somatic work, meditation, or another supportive path, the invitation remains the same: What if true calm isn’t achieved by emptying the mind—but by understanding it?
You don’t have to stay trapped in your head. You can find your way back to inner calm—and perhaps, like me, discover it was within you all along.
